No one ever wishes to become an addict. For me this all started because I just wanted to meet a great girl, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Isn’t that what most people hope for? I always felt I was a great guy with lots to offer, but when I was younger I was clueless on how to get past the awkward meeting, flirting, dating routine that others seemed to do effortlessly. In high school I rarely had a date and never had a relationship, but my first year of college was the real wake up call when I lacked the ability to get a date for the entire year! That’s when I finally decided that I needed to change my approach, and since then things have never been the same…
Outside of relationships, my other passions are athletics/coaching and business. A usual combination, right?!? Regardless, those were areas I felt successful at even at an early age because I took a strategic approach and invested a lot of time that others weren’t willing to do. I decided I would do the same with dating and relationships. I began to become extremely observant of my friends and acquaintances in social situations and with those they were interested in. I would ask questions to different people, with different personalities, who were in different stages of dating. From this, I began to notice striking resemblances. From there, I started developing my theories or “date-isms” and putting them into practice for myself. Some worked, some failed, but I was learning quickly. I started sharing these date-isms with close friends and they were often very surprised with how spot on I was about something they never really thought much about. Some friends would try to prove them wrong, but given the chance to explain out the date-ism in its entirety, they usually conceded that that I was right.
My dating life picked up significantly during my junior year of college, but that all ended quickly when I met “Whitney,” who eventually became my first relationship, and first love. However, a devastating break-up from her two and a half years later spun me into a dating frenzy my last semester of college. After graduation I had several failed attempts at relationships, some of which were the most memorable girls I’ve ever dated. The hurt feelings I had at the time, along with knowledge of even more date-isms learned over the years, I was addicted and there was no looking back.
So for the first time I’m admitting what my friends have known for nearly eight years… that I’m a dateoholic. During that time I have never gone longer than two weeks without a date or being in a relationship, and even a gap that length is rare. When single, I typically date three girls at a time, but I have dated as many as five. If a girl is cute and seems interested, I date her… even if we have very little in common. It’s a costly habit… both financially and emotionally, but it doesn’t seem to ever stop me! I’ve never been married or engaged, but I’ve been in three long term relationships (all two years or more). I’ve fallen in love three times, but only one of those overlapped with my long-term relationships. I’ve lived in the same small suburb that is also home to my place of employment of over 10 years, but outside of my close friends, no other neighbors, co-workers, or acquaintances would never have a clue to my ways. Addicts are very good at covering up their addiction after all!
I want to make it clear, however, that I am NOT a sexoholic! If I could be as selective with my dating habits as I was with my bedroom habits, I wouldn’t be here… Since intimacy is an important part of relationships, I will refer to it in posts vaguely most of the time. Intimacy takes on many forms, and honestly, some of my most memorable intimate experiences didn’t involve having sex. Therefore, I’ll typically leave it up to your imagination when it comes to this area.
My posts can be broken down into these categories:
1. Date-isms (theories from years of dating experience from someone who paid attention)
2. EX-Factor (significant relationships of the past)
3. Recent Happenings (the most recent progressions and transgressions)
4. Reflections (my innermost thoughts in current time)
I hope you find the posts insightful, and that telling my stories will help lead me away from my road of addiction and back to a direction in which I can once again have a meaningful relationship . Thank you for your support!