For those of you who have been following from the start, you would know that “Heather” is one of the most significant ex-girlfriends from my past. Shortly after starting this blog, I decided to get back in touch with her after five years of not having any communication with her. I first started writing about this in An Old Flame Burns Bright. Although at the time it seemed the stars were aligning for us, it obviously didn’t work out. To make a long story short, it just kind of fizzled off. The interest she once seemed to have was pulled away and I was left wondering what happened. I was curious to figure out why, even though from past experience I have found that curiosity is what killed the cat… Anyway, just a short time later I met Gaby and the whole situation with Heather didn’t bother me anymore. A few weeks later Heather was in a Facebook relationship, so I figured she met this guy about the same time her and I got back in touch and something about their connection felt better than what we had. It was significant enough of an event that I remember writing about it, but it didn’t really bother me.
Anyway, about a week ago I was doing my daily scroll across my Facebook feed (pretty much a daily activity) and saw that Heather’s relationship status was changed to “engaged!” I was thrown back a bit. Is this for real? The status had over a hundred likes in just a few hours with her sisters on the list, so obviously not a hoax. Gaby was in the next room and I said to her, “Hey, remember that girl I got back in touch right before we met… she’s engaged now.” Gaby’s response was, “Wow, that was fast!” I joked about how since we probably met at the same time that maybe we should get engaged.
All jokes aside, I expected that at some point some past feelings would surface. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but now a week and a half later it is still not having any effect on me (other than my reflective mood, but that is pretty normal for me). Obviously the fact that I’m with someone that makes me really happy takes zip out of whatever sting I would potentially be feeling, but I think it goes beyond that. Years ago I think I would have been beating myself up that I screwed something up this past January, but when I look back now I believe all the screw ups really happened long ago. Bad timing was a significant part of why things didn’t work out for us way back when, and then factoring in our age/maturity at the time its surprising we even attempted that relationship more than once. In the end the complications of our past was too much to overcome, so nothing I did (or didn’t do) back in January would have changed that.
I wrote a short message to Heather congratulating her on her engagement. She thanked me. I’ve cared deeply for her for quite some time, and deep down there is part of me that will always care… but that’s all it will ever be now, and I’m ok with that. Honestly, I really hope things work out for her and this guy she is with. As a hopeless romantic I spent years hoping that some cosmic force kept bringing us back together, but now that things have worked out her and someone else, it’s a little bit of a release in some way. A little reassurance that indeed we weren’t meant to be together after all.
Alright, enough rambling on my end. I’d love to hear thoughts from anyone else. Thanks!