Circle of Death

bone circleThe Circle of Death is another date-ism that parallels with the three second rule.  Three second rule is basically a cue to a guy that he has permission to initiate a conversation at a bar with someone they haven’t met.  The circle of death really only applies to bars that have some sort of dance scene, but not being aware of it could significantly reduce your chances of benefiting from the three second rule.

I wish I could take credit for this, but the term “circle of death” was actually coined by a good friend of mine who I used to wing-man for back when he was single.  It refers to the group of guys that congregate just to the outside of the dance area of a bar or party.  At first it starts with a couple on-lookers, but as the dancing picks up, more guys start standing shoulder to shoulder with each other until a circle forms part or full way around the dance area.  Each guy’s goal is to get an equal or better view of the ladies who are dancing than those they stand next to.  Perhaps some stand there waiting to build up the nerve to talk or dance with the girl of their choice, while others just like to sit back and watch the show.  Regardless of the intent, it looks really creepy to everyone else!  So even though the people dancing choose to ignore the circle of death and continue to have a fun time, they still notice the faces of those who continue to leer.  In addition, people who are ordering drinks at the bar or having a conversation with friends behind the circle of death notice this group as well.   The longer a guy stands in the circle of death the lower the chances of receiving eye contact from any girl in that bar for the night, and the greater the chance of getting a cold response when attempting to initiate a conversation with someone.

Sometimes the formation of the circle of death can take someone by surprise.  It’s common for people to stay near the dance area when it is earlier in the evening and not a lot of people are dancing.  Maybe they are waiting for a larger dance group, or perhaps just waiting for the right song to get them in the mood.  This is fine as long as they are engaged in conversation and spend little or no time looking at the dance area.  However, the circle can form quickly, so being aware of the surroundings is crucial.  When this happens there are two moves one can make.  Before the move is made, it is most important not to make the most critical mistake… No matter what kind of ridiculous situation is happening on the dance area, DON’T STARE! That’s how the circle of death sucks in lesser men.  Once a guy has successfully resisted his internal urge to look at attractive women, the first option is to simply get out on the dance floor and have a good time.  It is far better to take part in the fun than be a spectator.  The second option is to distance yourself backward from the circle of death and head over to area of the bar where people are ordering drinks or where conversation is taking place.  Anywhere in between these options is no-man’s land.  Even if you aren’t directly apart of the circle of death, you and your guy friends could potentially be associated with this group if you are trying to have a conversation in their area.  It is better to be safe than sorry, so move away as quickly as possible!  If you or your friends got sucked in by the circle of death, it’s not the end of the world, but it probably should be the end of your night at that bar.  Cut your losses and move onto the next location where hopefully you won’t fall into the same trap.

Being aware of the circle of death and when and where it forms will help you in preventing the death of your ability to have a conversation and get a number from a girl you meet in a bar.  Good luck!


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