Time to talk about something a little more fun! My recent happenings can be a bit dramatic at times and the stories of my past ex’s is necessary for building my background, but not my favorite thing to talk about. So I’m switching gears to my favorite area of date-isms, where I discuss the theories and strategies that helped me acquire dates after many years of not being able to do so.
Over the course of my college years I gradually figured out ways to successfully obtain a date, however, after graduation I once again found myself struggling. The problem was the situation had changed and my strategies did not. I went to a smaller college, so if there was a girl I was attracted to in a class, in my neighborhood, or any other place I was at on a regular basis, I had a gradual approach that worked quite well. However, after I was done with school most of the girls I met were at bars in the city. In a situation where you had a new crowd every night, gradual approaches no longer worked. For years I had little success, but once I realized the power of the Three Second Rule, I never had a problem getting a date ever again.
The Three Second Rule is actually so simple most people don’t believe it will work. It basically states that if a girl makes eye contact with you for three straight seconds, you have an invitation to go up and start a conversation. The rule actually goes both ways though! When my female friends ask me what they need to do to draw a guy at the bar into conversation, I tell them to keep making glances over at the guy they are interested in talking to until they make direct eye contact. If the guy doesn’t come over he probably isn’t available or doesn’t have very much confidence, which wouldn’t make him a good date anyway.
When you’re actually in the situation, three seconds can seem like a long time, but it’s a good test. If a person returns your eye contact for that duration there is no way it’s an accident. Now for a guy, if you get a shorter eye contact from a girl, but then get a second, I consider that the same as three seconds. The first glance may have been an accident, but the second is not. Why? Girls typically have much better control over their eye contact in social situations than guys. Therefore it is important to let girls know that a second glance from a guy may or may not mean anything. I’ll discuss this further in a future post Eyes On The Prize, as that is an additional lesson that will be helpful when used in combination to the Three Second Rule.
After getting that three second look, or that second glance it is important not to waste any time. Waiting too long will make a girl assume you are not interested and she will direct her attention elsewhere, and the next guy may not be as hesitant as you are! So if you think she’s cute, get over there! Not sure what to say? At some point I might post something on this, but honestly, if a girl has given you that much attention in a crowded bar that likely has many more guys than girls… you don’t have to say much. Just go up and introduce yourself, she’s obviously just as curious about you as you are about her!