Typically “Recent Happenings” posts will be shorter in length, but seeing as this is my first of this set it will be a little bit longer than usual. When I run into a friend I haven’t seen in a few weeks and they ask what’s been happening in my dating life, my typical response is “We have some catching up to do!” Why? Because there are way too many stories in a that amount of time to get caught up in a passing conversation! When I’m not in a relationship, my situation changes almost daily.
I’m going to start back to a couple months ago. I was single and managed to remain dateless for two weeks since the relationship that I just got out of. Then at a tailgate party a lady basically asks me out on the spot completely out of the blue. Now, I could tell she was a little bit older than me, and I usually date younger girls, but she was cute and I’ve always been intrigued by a girl who is a little aggressive so I said “sure” to Girl #1. We went on a date two days later, had a fun time and ended the night with a kiss. We agreed to meet up again that weekend on a night we both planned to be out with friends, and that’s when things started to get interesting…
That Friday night I met up with my friend at a bar downtown. While there a new girl sitting at a table by herself was staring at me. The first time I thought it was incidental, but the second time there was no mistake. (See Three Second Rule.) Anyway, I decided to walk over and talk to her and learned her name was “Samantha.” My single friend thought it would be a good idea to also join me seeing that she was good-looking AND because he knew I was going to be meeting up with Girl #1 shortly afterward. About a minute into our conversation I call Samantha out sensing she’s on a date, and she admits she is and that her date is at the bar. My friend and I both offer to give her our numbers, but she hesitates because she sees her date coming back. We leave and go back to our table. Shortly afterward Girl #1 texts me to meet up with her at a different bar and I tell my friend I plan to leave. Before we do, however, he decides to put both our numbers on a sheet of paper and casually give it to Samantha as we walk by on our way out. Nothing to loose I guess! So we leave to the next bar where we meet up with Girl #1. When we get there, she is already having drinks with one of her friends and we sit down and chat with them. After me and my friend finish our drinks we recommend going dancing or getting something to eat. Since they still had plenty of drink left, they suggested we go ahead and dance at the bar down just down the street and they would text us to go eat at a place nearby after they finished their drink. While at the next place Samantha shows up with her date again! This time when her date leaves to get drinks I move in right away to see if she still had our numbers. She informed me that she had to crumple it up and throw it on the floor to save face, which I thought was reasonable. Anyway, I ask for her number this time reminding her that her date just left and won’t be back for a while. Her response was, “give me your phone!” She swiped it out of my hands and put in her number quickly. I told her she would hear from me the next day and walked away. About 30 minutes later she and her date leave and I get a text from Girl #1 telling me that her friend was not feeling well from too much drinking and they took a cab home. Not long after that, another new girl (Girl #3) comes up to me and starts dancing with me. We dance the rest of the night and she gives me her number at closing time before we part ways. Whew! Quite a productive night.
Normally I would give you all the details of the next couple weeks, but since we have so much catching up to do I’ll fast forward a bit. Girl #3 went on two dates with me before I determined she was crazy and I didn’t go out with her again. Samantha and I have a fun first date and continue dating. She was fun, smart, and had many attractive physical qualities about her. Still, something about her personality prevented me from being willing to date her exclusively. I continued to stay in touch and go the occasional date with Girl #1, as well as starting to date Girl #4 who I had met a week later, all the while keeping my options open. Still, most of my time was spent with Samantha and I was having fun when I was with her. Then one week I asked when we’d get together and she said she couldn’t as she would be flying out to a city half way across the country for a job interview. Now, she did tell me on our first date that she would like to move out West someday, but I didn’t think it would happen this soon! Either did she apparently, as she informed me she happened to catch a job opening a couple weeks after we started dating, and they called her out of the blue a couple weeks after that.
That Friday Samantha had her interview and by the afternoon she texted me that they offered her the job and she accepted. When I asked her when she started, she said 3 weeks. Now, I was happy for her because this was something she wanted, but suddenly I was very disappointed that she was leaving. At that point, I decided I was going to spend the rest of Samatha’s remaining time in the area with her and not continue to date anyone else. During this final few weeks I spent more time with her than normal, had more in depth conversations, shared many more laughs and had many more great intimate moments- some of the most fantastic experiences I’ve ever had! Anyway, I became more emotionally attached than I thought I would and the connection I felt with her was certainly stronger than I would have anticipated it would get based on how I was feeling just a few weeks earlier.
As I stated in my post Hindsight is 20/20, an event like this is still too recent for me to figure out the learning experience. Lately, I have been feeling that my biggest problem is that I’m not selective enough after the first few dates, and perhaps I should cut more dates off at that point before continuing to towards a relationship. However, if I would’ve taken that approach there is a chance we wouldn’t have continued dating Samantha and I think I would’ve really missed out. I was very attracted to her and enjoyed her company, but it took longer to start developing feelings for her than it had with other girls I’ve had long-term relationships with in the past. Perhaps I should’ve focused more of my time and energy into my relationship with her earlier, but with her personality I could see that as something that may have pushed her away. Regardless, I’ll never really know now. I’m glad we had our time together and I wish her the best now. My hope is that from this unique end to a relationship I can keep my focus on what is important and try to revert to going back to my usual ways.