Many years ago when I first heard the saying “Hindsight is 20/20” it immediately resonated with me and since then, I use the phrase all the time. Seeing as this is my first post of the new year I wanted to write about something that shows reflection. That is what this time of year if for, right?!? Looking back at the past and seeing learning from your mistakes and building on your successes in order to make yourself a better person. Well, as a person that is constantly thinking about relationships, I’m really trying to figure out what will make me a better partner for the future “Mrs. Right” and how I can put myself in the best position to meet her.
In terms of my relationships, 2012 was emotionally the most costly I’ve had in many years. Although most would find that defeating, I’m a constant optimist, so I believe last year’s events may have been the kick in the pants I needed to drum up the motivation for real change this year. Recently, a good friend of mine quoted a famous Einstein line to me, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” She’s is absolutely right! The main problem for me is establishing what habits I have that are helping me be successful in dating and which ones are preventing me from meeting and being in a relationship that can be meaningful and stand the test of time.
There was a lot to learn from this year, but the problem with hindsight is that it really isn’t 20/20 until you’ve moved further down the road. The mirror distorts the images that aren’t too far back behind you, but the more distant you are from the situation (and the emotions), the more understanding you have of it. This is very evident for me when I talk about my past relationships. Ask me about why I broke things off with a girl I dated 3-10 years ago and I can give you a very quick, practical, and to the point break down of what happened. However, ask me about something that just happened in the last few months and you get a bunch of wish-washy, back and forth gibberish. The more emotional the experience was, the longer it takes to sort it out. The worst thing you can do is claim you have it figured out and proceed forward. I screwed up my chances with several really great girls over the years because of that.
So, what does this year bring? Well I hope to turn the tables this year! Most of my adult life I’ve been the person my friends go to for advice on dating, but as more and more of them are finding there way into long-term relationships, it will be me seeking advice on how to tweak my approach to have a better outcome. Your feedback and advice is appreciated! Looking forward to a great year!