Rule of Five

5

The “rule of five” became one of my most asked date-isms of my adult life. Current technology and text messaging has changed this “rule”, but I think it still think the general principle is important to consider when meeting potential dates.

Post-school dating was very harsh on me in my early and mid-20’s.  When I would get a girl’s number I would get so excited about the possibilities of what could happen.  Would she be a fun date? A good kisser? A good lover?  The possibilities were endless! However, most times I wouldn’t find out the answer to any of those questions, because I would never see them again.  Frustrated I decided to start keeping better tabs on this.  Over time I figured out the following:

Out of every five phone numbers I would get…
ONE would be a wrong number- possibly on purpose, possibly because they were too drunk to give their number correctly.  Either way, it wasn’t going to happen.
TWO would never pick up my call or return my message.
The FINAL TWO would pick up or return your my and have a conversation, but out of the two, only ONE of them would eventually agree to meet up one-on-one.

This info was important to me because it gave me the ability to continue to get two or more phone numbers in a night without feeling guilty about it.  I was just simply playing back against the odds.  If you were playing roulette in Vegas, you have a better chance putting a chip on several squares than putting all of your chips on one- right?!?  After establishing this rule of thumb I generally would try to get five numbers over the course of a weekend, typically equaling one date for the next week.  If I was really on a roll, I could pull it off in one night!  Occasionally I would get more than one date out of a set of five digits received, but over time it almost always averaged out.

The summer after turning 26 is when I put this “rule” into place and my dating life would never be the same after… this became the main factor in what turned me to a full-fledged “dateoholic.”  For the first time in my life dating was always accessible, and if a second date with a girl didn’t happen, a new date was just five phone numbers away.  The best streak I had that summer was 18 numbers over the course of 8 days, four of which turned into dates, one of which turned into of my second long-term relationship and ended a 3 1/2 year drought without one.  Additionally, she probably the coolest girlfriend I ever had (at least so far).  That’s another story for another time though…

These days I NEVER get phone numbers in those quantities.  Why? Technology and adaptation to the way people communicate has made getting to know someone easier and less intimidating.  If I got five numbers in a weekend now, I would expect to meet up with four of them, perhaps all five, but certainly no fewer than three.  I will talk more about that on a future post as well.  Regardless of the change of stats, the meaning behind my date-ism of the rule of five is still important- when you are just meeting someone for the first time, it’s perfectly fine not to put all your eggs in one basket.  However, you must proceed wisely or you could be on the fast track to becoming a dateoholic yourself…

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